Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I’m Gonna’ Stick a Boot in Yo Camp!

A boot camp without a military-style march is a little like having a poodle give your graduation commencement speech; a lot of barking with no motivation.

Though, now that I think of it, a poodle would have been great at my high school graduation ceremony. At least then I’d remember who the hell my high school graduation speaker was. As for my University graduation ceremony, they could have had a poodle as commencement speaker for all I know. I didn’t attend. Why should I? No dog orators.

You know, the more I think about this, the more ridiculous it seems to me. I mean we would never have had a poodle speak at my high school graduation. It wouldn’t have made sense. We were the Bulldogs. We would have had a bulldog speaker. But that would have been even more problematic considering how close the mic would have had to be. And bulldogs do a lot more snorting and drooling than they do barking (they have respiratory problems due to all the inbreeding), so the mic would’ve gotten covered in slime and dog saliva becoming a potential electrocution hazard.

Bulldog speaker at high school graduation = cool. Electrocuted bulldog speaker at high school graduation = smelly.

Okay, you may think that I’ve gone off on a tangent, but it is graduation season. A time to inspire!

And I was inspired to write a march for Guy’s Boot Camp in Episode 7.

See? It all makes total sense now, doesn’t it?

With the Boot Camp March, like I said, I was going for a military-style march. A John Phillip Sousa affair. While I don’t think that I really captured the essence of Sousa, I think I captured the essence of sounding like a march. It feels more British to me than traditionally American (á la Sousa). But what do I know? I’m not an expert on international military march styles.

Perhaps you are? Why not take a listen and tell me.

Listen to this song while doing your own boot campy workout!

Use it to brighten up that boring, unmotivated housework!

Play it at your graduation ceremony instead of Pomp and Circumstance! There’s too much circumstance at graduations now anyway! And I guarantee that it won’t spook the poodle!


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