Who’s the Bossa?

or: Blame it on the bossa nova.

Bossa, bossa, bossa.

What’s all this bossa talk about? Well, it’s about bossa. Duh. Do want me to be clearer? Okay. Fine.

It’s about the bossa nova.

More specifically, it’s about “The Distractionation Bossa.” A little tune I wrote for our last video, The Distractionation Index.

Since the theme of the short was somewhat “clinical” I wanted to write background music that had a “Doctor’s Office” feel. You know, Musak. Just a little ditty to invoke feelings of sitting in a waiting room.

Easier said than done.

First of all, say what you want about musak or “elevator music,” the truth is that a vast majority of the music we all try so desperately to tune out is in actuality composed and played by very highly skilled studio musicians. Very highly skilled. In fact, in a lot of cases it’s played by the same people who back up big name artists. Because, let’s face it, a gig is a gig, dad.

Now, at one time, it could have been argued that I was – on my way to becoming – a good instrumentalist. Those days are gone. Now I’m a sometimes saxophone player trying desperately to remember all the correct fingerings. Which is tough enough when I’m paying the saxophone. When I’m trying to play the flute I’m a…well, a saxophone player trying desperately to remember all the correct fingerings.

Lucky for me they’re pretty much the same fingerings. But I still play the flute like a hack saxophone player. Though in my defense, I never really played the flute anyway. Only when the music called for it in jazz band (which was rare).

But my mother bought me a cool vintage 60s flute so I thought I should use it (my aunt gave away my mom’s flute; the one I used in college. But I’m not going to complain about it here in this blog. That would be petty. Even though I used it for 5 years and it had sentimental value. Besides, I’m sure my aunt’s son’s wife’s cousin deserves it more than I do. Awesome.).

The other hurdle I encountered was that I had never written a bossa before.

I listened to a lot of Antonio Carlos Jobim and Joao and Astrud Gilberto before I started, but that only made things worse since they pretty much invented the genre and no one has done it better since. Big shoes.

By the way, I think the biggest injustice in music is that “Girl from Ipanema” has been dubbed the ultimate elevator tune. My god that song is great! Seriously. I know I’m not helping to sell myself as a “hip and fresh” writer of internet “content” by saying that, but I don’t care. The kids today, with their Jonases and their girl-on-girl kissing, wouldn’t know good music if it were played over the PA system at the local Chico’s!

But I digress. I struggled to write a good bossa. It was tough. However, I persevered. I fought through. I made it out of the dark Brazilian jungle to the shores of Rio. And I did it all for the show!

So, without further ado, I’ll put down my cross and present The Distractionation Bossa:

I’m no studio musician sure, but then again, I don’t have a studio.

So there.

ROBB

Oh! Don’t forget that our latest video is going to be posted on Monday! Hooray!

The Romance of Blind Dogma

Happy post Labor Day, everyone! And if you live in a country other than the U.S., no, it makes no sense.

I of course was supposed to post yesterday, but as it was a holiday and I spent a good portion of the day hanging out with the LFTI cast making secret props for our next shoot, I ran out of time. So you get me today.

I hope you have all enjoyed the new short that went up yesterday, "The Distractionation Index." This is my first writing and directing gig on LFTI, so this is a good jumping off point to talk about the Lou shorts in more detail.

So you certainly understand by now that the first short, "*subject to change," was meant to be a "fake" episode. When we came up with the idea of Lou and who she was and how she would interact with the characters, we decided that instead of a full-blown episode dealing exclusively with Lou's entrance, it'd be fun to do a series of shorts that set up her relationship to each of the other main characters. To start that off, however, we needed Lou's grand entrance.

We came up with the idea that the first short starts off as the most ridiculous episode of LFTI—or perhaps any sitcom—ever. Each character comes into the apartment and adds to the insanity in more and more eye-rolling ways until it's time for Kate's entrance, and then... uh, that's not Kate. "Who the hell are you?" As you know by now, Lou brings the proceedings to a halt (thankfully), reveals a bit of her background, solves everyone's lunatic problems, and then is off in a flash. Oh, except that she creates difficulties of her own, thus fitting perfectly into Mason's world.

The flashbacks are really the core of "*subject to change," and they were the most fun to create. Except my Arby's hat. Eh, I take it back... the Arby's hat was a pain in the ass to create. That's why I'm going to be damn sure to wear it for all future semi-formal occasions.

As pain-in-the-assish as the Arby's hat was, and as fun as the Lou flashbacks were to shoot, I'll leave those subjects for another time. The flashbacks alone deserve a full post. Who knows? Someone else might write about them sooner than you think. Or not. Really, we don't plan these posts out as good as all that.

So this week is the first of the four follow-up shorts showcasing Lou in her escapades with the rest of the cast. Thanks to Lou's character already being so strongly defined, I got the idea that it would be very funny to see Lou showing flash cards to someone as some kind of useless but very serious but not at all that serious test. The funniest pairing for that was obviously Jennifer or Guy, but Robb already had a hilarious Lou/Guy short, so Jennifer it was. Writing the short was actually very easy, because the main ideas were solid, I guess, and so the absurdity of the situation was all that had to be invented. I can invent absurdity well.

I will probably not be asked this question, so I'll answer it to be sure I never am: Do the flash cards have any deep meaning? No. The only questions I asked when thinking up the flash cards were, "What's amusing to put on a flash card?" and "How can the humor of the cards build?" The cards were not thought about in connection with the actual dialogue. Which leads to an interesting psychological puzzle: The cards appear to be random yet symbolic when paired with the dialogue. Since I claim the cards were dreamed up mostly randomly, does this mean my own subconscious mind was at work inventing the proper flash cards for the proper moments in the script? If so, what does this short say about me and my mind? Discuss. 20 points.

During shooting in the side yard of the apartment, we were assaulted with the usual assortment of environmental sounds, including cars and planes and birds. We even got a sample of someone's personal music playlist. Because of this, Robb thought it'd be fun to use those sounds and even add to them. Thus the surreal and faintly distracting noises you may or may not hear underneath the dialogue of "Distractionation." Robb might have some fun and interesting things to say regarding the sound AND MUSIC *AHEM AHEM* he created here.

Not only was the short my first LFTI directorial effort, but it was my first since film school. I love and respect all the LFTI cast, so it was interesting trying to balance my original concept for the short, the new and fun stuff the actors brought in their acting satchels 'o goodness, and the realities of real-world shooting. I know I could have done some things differently, but I'm very happy with the short. I can't wait to direct some more and learn from my mistakes.

"The Distractionation Index" is probably our most pseudo-experimental LFTI video yet, and I'm glad everyone was so supportive of it. I'm also glad it's getting good feedback so far. A british friend of mine was particularly fond of it, which is the best compliment we can receive.

I think the next Lou short is going to be a  big hit as well, and we can't wait for that to go up on September 15th!

Oh, and P.S.: Japanese Noh mask and phrenology chart down, bone with a bow, Red Vines, and romantic mood lighting to go.