Monday, May 5, 2008

Iron and Nine and Cinco de Mayo

While watching Iron Man last night during a late show, I was struck by the similarities between that already-blockbuster film and our own little corner of the entertainment world, Life from the Inside. I thought it might perhaps be useful to share some of these strikings with you, our gentle viewers, to help you appreciate the value of entertainment you are receiving while watching our show.

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, all topic numbers will be presented in Spanish.

One-o: Just as Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark ends up doing his best work while trapped in a suit of his own creation, so is our main character, Mason Evan Harris, equally talented while trapped in a lifestyle of his own creation.

Two-o: Hummers figure prominently into the fabric of both Iron Man and LFTI's episode 6, "*some restrictions may apply."

Three-o: A bold and dramatic chiaroscuro brings the vision of Iron Man to vivid, hyper-real life. A bold and dramatic application of ceiling-hung 100-watt light bulbs erases any hint of the vivid or the hyper-real from the apartment setting of Life from the Inside.

Four-o: 85 filters were used extensively in both Iron Man and Life from the Inside. (Both used cameras, too.)

Cinc-o: Iron Man's winding plot of pulse-pounding action and international intrigue echo LFTI episode 2, "*store in a cool dry place." Replace L.A. with Mason's apartment, Afghanistan with homeless man alley, and Stark's arc reactor with Guy's swirling lollipop, and the plots are nearly identical.

Six-o: Iron Man's daring yet entertaining criticism of the American industrial–military complex mirrors LFTI's very own daringly entertaining critical commentary of the average American's reliance on pharmaceuticals and philters to gain acceptance and love.

Siet-o: Iron Man relies heavily on complicated sequences of computer-generated imagery to tell its story. Life from the Inside relies heavily on complicated sequences of computer-generated dialogue to tell its story.

Huit-o: John Favreau, the director of Iron Man, was in the movie Open Season with Jack McGee. Jack McGee was in The Paper with Geoffrey Owens, who directed LFTI episode 5, "*side effects may include night terrors."

Nueve-o: Taking into consideration the cost of a movie ticket in these modern days and the monthly cost of a high-speed Internet connection, it costs about the same to watch two hours of Iron Man as it does to watch two hours of Life from the Inside on Revver. Er, so much for value, I guess.


Anonymous said...

Dear Myself,

I am horrified at myself for having used such stereotypes when creating the Spanish "numbers" for my list. What was I thinking? I am ashamed at myself. I demand that I edit the post to take out any references that may prove insulting to anyone of any race, past, present, or future.

Signed, Me

Anonymous said...

Dear Me,

Thank you for your concern. It was not my intention to insult anyone of any heritage, past, present, or future. I apologize if anyone took that offense. I will not, however, go back and edit the post because I think you are being oversensitive. What a girl you are! A pansy! Get some backbone, you poofter, and leave me alone!

Signed, Myself.

Anonymous said...

Dear Myself,

Well, now I've really gone and done it! Just because I am insecure with my own masculinity does not mean I have to use derogatory terms for myself! I find it insulting and offensive! I demand that I stop writing such things about myself immediately, or I'll have to call the Lambda Legal Defense League of America!

Gloweringly, Me

Anonymous said...

Ma Cher Moi,

I apologize if anyone took offense to anything that was truthful and hurtful and absolutely with merit. Just so you know, I am also a poofter, and I find my offense at my remarks about myself to be equally as offensive! I wish I would lighten up about myself and my comments to myself, because life is too short to be lived arguing with myself about comments I made about myself. I love myself and I wish I would be able to do the same.

Love, Myself.

Anonymous said...

Dear Myself,

I am no mind reader, so I can not guess what my intentions are when I toss insults so lightly in my own direction. I may wish I would lighten up about myself, but in return I wish I would take the time to craft my responses with more care so I could tell whether I am being tongue-in-cheek or truly insulting. I can only know myself, never myself, for I am beyond myself.


Anonymous said...

Dear Me,

I am absolutely right, and I am sorry I caused such misunderstanding. I have never misunderstood myself so powerfully before, and it wasn't until I pointed it out to myself that I came to realize how much my comments hurt me. I am deeply sorry and hope that I can forgive myself. Let me put this flame war to an end.

I hope I understand that I still will not change the post. I hope this is acceptable to me and that I can understand my reason for taking the stand I have taken.


LFTI said...

Well, I'm glad you got that straightened out!